backthebusup.com

This website is about nothing. It just happens to contain images of lowrider VW buses, jet kayaking, bass boats, and fishing — plus some random data that means nothing.

LOWRIDER VW BUS
Lowrider VW bus

Lowrider VW Buses

A classic silhouette, measured with pretend instruments.

Stancepancake low
Hydraulic confidence412 psi
Engine vibes6.7 vib/second
Paint layers19 coats
Carburetor mystery73%
Meaning detected0%
Secret metric

Parallel parking luck: 88th percentile (calibrated on feelings).

JET KAYAKING
Jet kayaking

Jet Kayaking

Kayak, but with thrust. Paddles are optional folklore.

Thrust586 N
Splash index91 / 100
Nozzle drama-7°
Top speed44 mph
Grip on reality12%
Meaning detected0%
Secret metric

Whoops per minute: 6 (scientifically vibes).

BASS BOAT
Bass boat

Bass Boats

Shallow draft, wide deck, and optimism at speed.

Draft9.4 in
Deck swagger9.0
Sonar pings7,420 / hr
Cup holders8
Livewell optimism100%
Meaning detected0%
Secret metric

Wake etiquette: apologetic (ISO-9001: nope).

FISHING
Fishing

Fishing

The sport of waiting, now with analytics that prove nothing.

Patience611 minutes
Lure charisma64%
Story inflation180%
Bites (reported)3
Excusemoon phase
Meaning detected0%
Secret metric

The one that got away: 27 lbs (trust me).